Throughout the years, I had to hear several times: you are too much, you are too energetic, too loud, too dominant, too intense, too present, …
I came to think that this was wrong. That I was wrong. That I had to dim down.
One of the underlying beliefs that got created out of that was that I needed to be with someone that would balance me out. Someone who was more calm, who could slow me down somewhat. I met some amazing beings traveling that road, some still very close to my heart. Providing me with security, comfort, safety, roots … And yet what stayed lingering throughout the years was restlessness and a yearning for more aliveness.
After I engaged in some consciousness trainings and I started practising more awareness on myself, I observed that going out with some of my more ‘energetic’ friends, could bring me in full aliveness and leave me saturated for days after. And I started wondering: what if I had been wrong all the time? What if fire does not need to be controlled but needs gasoline to be lightened up fully? What if all that fire needs to be complete in its own nature, is being allowed to express itself in totality without judgment, compromise or limitation?
I have recently chosen to start exploring that road. The road less travelled into the unknown. My mind throws up quite some objections, fears, questions. Yet my heart is hopeful and brave, almost jumping of joy for the discoveries that lay ahead. I am willing to risk everything out of love for my own fire. As it deserves to be acknowledged and to be embraced. Not allowing this to be explored, feels as if I would compromise on the gift of life itself.
And with that I experience so much gratitude and so much love. Yes, I am a hand full, and intense, loud, demanding, dominant, expressive and present as I am the opposite of all of that as well, but most of all I am alive and I am passionate about life.
I choose to never again be apologetic about that, to not compromise or dim my flames for anyone or anything unless I consciously choose to. From now on I choose to love in totality, first of all myself, and I choose to live life in totality.
And how about you? Is there a part of you that you have been compromising on? Something that you have been making wrong because it didn't suit the perspective or opinion of others? How about giving it some airtime or setting it free again in totality?
PS: If you need some support in setting those first steps back, you are most welcome in our Master 1 training.
The next training (in English) is already taking place from 16-19 November in La Foresta, Leuven.
Info and registrations via www.creativeconsciousness.be.