For most people (not all), “control” is an issue: it shows up EVERYWHERE in life… From the obvious that we live in a government controlled reality, our relationships are containing elements of control (yes, we don’t like it, but still…) and we control ourselves so we behave best in order to be safe, find acceptance and survive.
Control is not only found in human realities but everywhere we look, e.g. in our body (the heart controls, the brain controls, everything controls everything else in the body), nature, in the universe… Gravity controls, climate controls, black holes control, still the big bang controls the expansion of the known universe etc.
In spiritual contexts, we find control too: we see how controlled the movements and positions in yoga are, the breathing techniques, the channeling, the meditations and so on and so forth.
Spontaneity in children, for example, seems to be beautifully uncontrolled, but is it really? For a child to be spontaneous, it needs to feel safe. If a child doesn’t feel safe, fear immediately takes control and there is no more spontaneity. And even when fear is not, the safety that is present is brought by the environment (teachers, parents etc.) and is based on control; they control in order to have the playground for the child safe.
More exceptions? Onto enlightened masters, it is often projected that they are liberated, and that means for most people that they are beyond control. Doesn’t it? If you can take the adoration and incense away and look impersonally, you will see that the masters express themselves in an enlightened controlled way. Their love controls what they say, how they move etc.
So, if we can’t find any exceptions in the whole universe that are free of control, why do human beings have such an issue with it?
Control, power and freedom
You guessed it right: it’s our ego and its fear to be controlled. The ego is the one thing in existence that has an issue with control. Because it thinks that if it gets controlled it loses power and ‘freedom’ - the ego’s freedom of wanting to do whatever it wants wherever and whenever it wants. (Yes, avoiding to be dominated in order to successfully dominate itself)
Most, if not all, spiritual teachings are based on a controlled system of teachings and practices. Even exercises like “spontaneous being in the moment” or “speaking freely” or “ecstatic dance” are practices that require a clearly controlled setting (safe environment, being relaxed, not coming from concept, no speaking, etc.)
For me, control is STRUCTURED AWARENESS.
1. When you replace your conditioned story with which you define control with “structured awareness”, you will experience an immediate expansion of freedom and ease because your story about control caused the fear in the first place.
2. The second step is to get clear with yourself how avoiding control has worked for you so far in your life? It kept you stuck in the familiarity of your past, right? Avoiding control is not only based on fear but also creates separation and a huge pile of all kinds of neurotic second level reactions. Your life will be about avoiding control and not about creating what works.
Go to any master, any authentic teacher and tell them that you are happy to practice but you won’t allow to be controlled. They kick your ass - LOL – you see my point?
In Creative Consciousness, we live a commitment to consistently create and offer learning and growth environments (trainings, retreats, CC trainer academy, licensing etc.) that are best accelerating awakening, awareness and the competence to create.
The only difficulty anybody ever experiences is in direct relationship to their understanding of control. Every spiritual teaching tells us we must learn to SURRENDER; no teaching says “…according to your ego’s terms”. Interesting, isn’t it? Oh boy, when using the word “surrender”, another massive box gets opened (especially for the Germans! LOL).
At the end of the day, life forces us anyway to surrender, sooner or later. Latest when death takes you, you will need to let go of your illusion of control and experience surrender. If you manage to let go of your RESISTANCE, you then instantly experience unimaginable bliss and freedom. But then it’s too late to enjoy it, because you need to leave this world.
The intelligent ego (if there is such a thing :-)) seeks to practice surrender as often and as total as its resistance management allows. Advancing in that practice is called spiritual growth. Anything else is a preparation for that practice. NOBODY can bypass the challenge of surrender.
See, it doesn’t need to be such a DRAMA, does it? Risk yourself and allow your ego to shrink a bit and surrender to being controlled (which you are all the time anyway!) and you will see that you won’t die. If you get lucky, the fear of your ego dies. But as long as you try to dictate your terms & conditions to life, you miss the point completely.
I hope this little inquiry soothes your fear and inspires you to experiment with the probably most important matter on everyone’s spiritual growth journey.
with love, Marc